Ruminations on the meaning of romance

I’ll confess something up-front, I’ve been having a bit of trouble with this blog topic.

What constitutes my idea of romance? Well, I’ve never really given it much thought. I recognize when something romantic happens to me, but the sad news is, that up until recently, there was not much romance in my life.

I attribute this to the fact that I’m the sort of girl who has to be motivated to get in a so-called romantic mood. I’m not talking about sex, mind you, but actual romance. Now what do I mean by needing to be motivated? I mean that the typical combination of poem/flowers/candy doesn’t exactly do it for me.

I need is what I consider to be the perfect combination for me: Someone who is all-at-once part academic professor and half six-year old. The type of person who enjoys a good conversation about art, music or history, but finds use and beauty in the occasional food fight. A person who is thrilled to follow a philharmonic performance with a couple games of bowling and some beer. Someone who likes the books without pictures, but who still has a deep affection for Dr. Seuss.

That said, I have to keep the following in mind: Nobody’s perfect.

Even when two people are lucky enough to find themselves head-over-heals in love,
we all come with a list, (or in my case, a chapter), of shortcomings. So for me, true romance has to include acceptance.
It’s not just about doing small favors for one and other now and then, or keeping each other laughing through hard times, or spontaneity, or even pure physical attraction. All of these things I consider to be important, but I think true romance happens when two people are compelled to be next to each other. When they find themselves wanting to be a better person for the sake of the other. And when they carry the knowledge that they’re loved for who they are, including all of their lists (or chapters) of faults.



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